Jun 11, 2009
The Real Bruce Lee?
I just watched the truly appalling "The Real Bruce Lee" with Bruce Lee, Bruce Li, and "new sensation" Dragon Lee and "produced" by Serafim Karalexis. Even its use of 1950s Hong Kong Bruce Lee film clips is inept. To claim as the credits do, that it is "directed and edited by Jim Markovich" (he of the equally despicable "Riot on 42nd Street") is surely stretching the limits of credibility and borders on the insulting. This is what happens when you pick up cheap videotapes (and it really is cheap - it's one of those 30 minute VHS cassettes where the 90 minute film has been recorded at extended play to save tape) at the local supermarket.
Jun 5, 2009
My Cannes 2009 - V
Epilogue
The most interesting film in Cannes - from the point of view of symbolism, metaphor and all-round significance - was very short and concise; was seen by all the Cannes audiences but will not be seen outside the festival; and featured no stars, indeed it contains no actors nor any dialogue.
What fascinating work is this? Of course, it's the festival trailer.
A CGI work sans actors and words, it nevertheless conveys perfectly an attitude, moral philosophy, and hegemonic aesthetic all in one, and all in the space of about a minute.
The film (and it deserves this moniker more that some of the other rubbish on display) begins UNDERWATER. To a music soundtrack that mimics Bernard Herrman's score for Hitchcock's Vertigo, the "camera" ascends the red carpet stairway whose correspondance with reality is all too real since the audience (at least in the Grand Palais) has just walked up the real version of these steps. We surface - presumably on the Bay of Cannes - water all around but still those stairs and that crazy compelling music lead us onwards and upwards. The stairs go higher and soon we are in the clouds (good weather, no rain, no thunder, no lightning) and keep going until we are in OUTER SPACE! Yes we are in Star Wars territory; there is no frontier, just twinkling stars. Suddenly a huge sign flips up in front of us, it says in gold, and surrounded by gold palms, "Festival de Cannes."
This film contains not just an apotheosis fantasy (that confirms the semiotics of the tribute ritual I described in My Cannes 2009 - 1), but also an evolutionary myth that in its simplest form suggests that cinema has evolved much like life itself. It moves from the basic form (fish) from water, to surface (ok there isn't actually land in this movie but which film really has its feet on the ground anyway?), all the way up to the stars where "heaven" is the Cannes film festival.
To paraphrase, you have died and gone to Cannes. The trouble with Cannes-as-heaven is: would you really want to spend eternity with these people, let alone these films?
The most interesting film in Cannes - from the point of view of symbolism, metaphor and all-round significance - was very short and concise; was seen by all the Cannes audiences but will not be seen outside the festival; and featured no stars, indeed it contains no actors nor any dialogue.
What fascinating work is this? Of course, it's the festival trailer.
A CGI work sans actors and words, it nevertheless conveys perfectly an attitude, moral philosophy, and hegemonic aesthetic all in one, and all in the space of about a minute.
The film (and it deserves this moniker more that some of the other rubbish on display) begins UNDERWATER. To a music soundtrack that mimics Bernard Herrman's score for Hitchcock's Vertigo, the "camera" ascends the red carpet stairway whose correspondance with reality is all too real since the audience (at least in the Grand Palais) has just walked up the real version of these steps. We surface - presumably on the Bay of Cannes - water all around but still those stairs and that crazy compelling music lead us onwards and upwards. The stairs go higher and soon we are in the clouds (good weather, no rain, no thunder, no lightning) and keep going until we are in OUTER SPACE! Yes we are in Star Wars territory; there is no frontier, just twinkling stars. Suddenly a huge sign flips up in front of us, it says in gold, and surrounded by gold palms, "Festival de Cannes."
This film contains not just an apotheosis fantasy (that confirms the semiotics of the tribute ritual I described in My Cannes 2009 - 1), but also an evolutionary myth that in its simplest form suggests that cinema has evolved much like life itself. It moves from the basic form (fish) from water, to surface (ok there isn't actually land in this movie but which film really has its feet on the ground anyway?), all the way up to the stars where "heaven" is the Cannes film festival.
To paraphrase, you have died and gone to Cannes. The trouble with Cannes-as-heaven is: would you really want to spend eternity with these people, let alone these films?
My Cannes 2009 - IV
Impressions...
Attendance: Opening night - Empty streets, last orders in bars at midnight. Closing night - crowds on the Croisette, Majestic Bar empty, restaurants quite full. Conclusion - more people at end than at beginning!
Water: no free bottles this year, so tank up on free Nespresso - but then you get quite wired on this highly caffeinated fuel. No wonder I couldn't sleep in some of the more boring films.
Le Petit Paris Bistro: can get quite expensive. Got stomach ache after eating a salad there. A lot of Italians go there for breakfast - so I was told.
Sushi Time: actually it's a Korean restaurant. Decent bibimbap.
Le Monnot: reasonable Lebanese food. Good dinner.
Majestic Bar: still one of the best places to see people. $12 pastis...
Carlton: lot of people looking lost, looking for a deal.
Gay Night at American Pavilion: The US contribution to international village culture - not very gay but a lot of fun. One of the few places to get a worthwhile sized cup of coffee.
Le Crystal: despite non-stop European soccer blaring from the TV screen, still a good place to sit and have a pastis (for $4) while people-watching. For some reason (unknown to me) a lot of manly looking women walk past this place.
Chez Astoux: classic seafood place and decent plateau des fruits de mer. But with a dinner bill of almost $300, I do expect a little less rudeness from the maitre d'. Next year, another place.
Chez Louis: shared antipasti (French style) and shared desserts book-end individual entrees. Variable but good atmosphere - hey, there's John Boorman at the next table.
Taiwan party: a mixture of panache, chaos, good food, and great location, still the best place for Asian celeb spotting - hey, there's Shu Qi, and Anthony Wong... and Ang Lee and Zhang Yuan, and Tsai Ming Liang and...
Hong Kong party (known this year as China Party): good, unending flow of French champagne. Long live one country, two systems!
Red carpet: how do they keep it clean?
Attendance: Opening night - Empty streets, last orders in bars at midnight. Closing night - crowds on the Croisette, Majestic Bar empty, restaurants quite full. Conclusion - more people at end than at beginning!
Water: no free bottles this year, so tank up on free Nespresso - but then you get quite wired on this highly caffeinated fuel. No wonder I couldn't sleep in some of the more boring films.
Le Petit Paris Bistro: can get quite expensive. Got stomach ache after eating a salad there. A lot of Italians go there for breakfast - so I was told.
Sushi Time: actually it's a Korean restaurant. Decent bibimbap.
Le Monnot: reasonable Lebanese food. Good dinner.
Majestic Bar: still one of the best places to see people. $12 pastis...
Carlton: lot of people looking lost, looking for a deal.
Gay Night at American Pavilion: The US contribution to international village culture - not very gay but a lot of fun. One of the few places to get a worthwhile sized cup of coffee.
Le Crystal: despite non-stop European soccer blaring from the TV screen, still a good place to sit and have a pastis (for $4) while people-watching. For some reason (unknown to me) a lot of manly looking women walk past this place.
Chez Astoux: classic seafood place and decent plateau des fruits de mer. But with a dinner bill of almost $300, I do expect a little less rudeness from the maitre d'. Next year, another place.
Chez Louis: shared antipasti (French style) and shared desserts book-end individual entrees. Variable but good atmosphere - hey, there's John Boorman at the next table.
Taiwan party: a mixture of panache, chaos, good food, and great location, still the best place for Asian celeb spotting - hey, there's Shu Qi, and Anthony Wong... and Ang Lee and Zhang Yuan, and Tsai Ming Liang and...
Hong Kong party (known this year as China Party): good, unending flow of French champagne. Long live one country, two systems!
Red carpet: how do they keep it clean?
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